Adam Grant: You CAN Make Lasting Friendships As An Adult
Organizational psychologist Adam Grant joins Rich Roll to discuss his book Vibe, arguing that chemistry between people is built, not luck, with practical advice on making, keeping and repairing adult friendships.
The gist
-
Grant says you can spend about 75% of your time alone without feeling lonely, but going past that number puts you in trouble.
-
Grant sorts friends into allies you pursue goals with, pals you have fun with, and companions you confide in, and says mismatched expectations end many friendships.
-
Grant cites about a dozen experiments showing that telling someone a hard truth leaves both people feeling closer a week or two later.
-
Grant says frenemies are worse than enemies for health, since ambivalent relationships spike blood pressure and raise cardiovascular risk.
-
To reconnect, Grant suggests sending a voice note because hearing a voice releases oxytocin, and Roll says he sends one to three each morning.
"Oxytocin is released when you hear people's voices but not when you read their messages. And so I think the easiest thing you can do if you want to reconnect with somebody that you've lost touch with is record a voice note and send it to them. You don't have to deal with the a..."
▶ Play at 1:12:38What they recommend · 2 picks
"Oxytocin is released when you hear people's voices but not when you read their messages. And so I think the easiest thing you can do if you want to reconnect with somebody that ..."
"I started making a list of them and I started writing each of them an email about why I appreciated them. And I just started sending a few a day and it's probably the most immed..."
Rich, Joe, Andrew and Peter agree on 26 things
See what they all use, in their own words. Paid ads are left out.
See what they all swear by Or pick your own peopleAlso mentioned
Ads in this episode
Airbnb, Kohler Health Dakota, Freaks of Nature Sunstick, Squarespace, Seed DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. They're paid, so we keep them out of the picks above.
See what Rich recommends without being paid →Related episodes
Episodes covering similar topics
More from Rich Roll