How We Taught Generations of Men to Hide Their Feelings

The gist

1. Shetty says Achilles and Zeus weep in the Iliad, and medieval Christianity called crying "the gift of tears," a sign of God's presence.
2. He traces "men don't cry" to Napoleon's army and British public schools like Eton, which sent boys as young as eight away from their families.
3. Shetty says about 10% of people have clinically significant alexithymia, or having no words for emotions, with men at 13% versus 7% for women.
4. He notes crying is praised in sport, as with Roger Federer, but cites a study where men who cried in performance reviews got lower evaluations.
5. Shetty notes men are four times more likely to die by suicide, and says the crying gap only appears around age 11, so it's learned.