Why Nobody is Having Sex Anymore (& why it matters) - Dr Debra Soh
Dr. Debra Soh discusses the "sex recession"—a documented decline in sexual activity among young people across developed nations, with one in three men and one in five women reporting no sex in the past year. Rather than being displaced by alternative outlets, overall sexual activity has declined across all categories, driven by factors including internet pornography, social media, mental health issues, hormonal birth control, endocrine disruptors, and economic/educational imbalances between men and women. The episode explores how these interconnected biological and social factors are reshaping modern mating dynamics and what this means for future coupling and reproduction.
Key takeaways
- • Sexlessness has increased dramatically across all demographics and relationship statuses, with Gen Z showing the steepest declines; 67% of Gen Z would prioritize sleep over sex, and 37% of adults now have weekly sex compared to 55% in 1990.
- • Hormonal birth control alters female mating psychology by suppressing ovulation and reducing sexual interest during the fertile window, potentially affecting partner selection and long-term relationship compatibility if women discontinue use.
- • Porn consumption may be sedating young men rather than replacing partnered sex—it provides dopamine and sexual gratification without the effort of dating, reducing motivation for real-world mate-seeking and potentially contributing to overall lethargy and lack of life direction.
- • Endocrine disruptors and declining testosterone in men over the past 40 years suggest environmental factors beyond lifestyle choices are suppressing sexual drive, with pharmaceutical waste in water supplies affecting fertility and sexual behavior in animal populations.
- • Female hypergamy is constrained by economic realities—as women increasingly outperform men educationally and financially, especially before age 30, fewer men meet the threshold for partnership, creating a smaller pool of eligible partners and driving some women toward casual encounters or singlehood.
- • Social media creates unrealistic beauty standards that both sexes internalize, leading to increased cosmetic procedures (breast augmentation, labiaplasty, penis fillers) and reduced sexual satisfaction, with one in ten men losing interest in their partners after viewing influencers online.
- • Aggressive pornography preferences are higher in women than men, suggesting female sexual masochism may be evolutionarily rooted in demonstrating pain tolerance or capacity to endure, though this often correlates with childhood physical abuse rather than healthy sexuality.
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