Why 90% of People Think They're Shy (And Why They're Wrong) | Vinh Giang
Communication coach Vinh Giang joins Lewis Howes to argue that the way you communicate is a set of changeable behaviors, not your personality, and shares practical drills for voice, confidence, nerves and storytelling.
The gist
-
Giang suggests recording yourself speaking off the cuff for 5 minutes, then reviewing it audio-only, video-only, and as a transcript, picking one fix each.
-
Howes credits a year of weekly Toastmasters meetings, filming himself and getting live audience feedback, with helping him overcome his fear of public speaking.
-
Giang says confidence is a feeling that is hard to control, so focus on how you look and sound, and practice new behaviors with strangers first.
-
Giang's story framework has three parts: a spark moment, a point introduced with "the reason I'm sharing this is because," and a link to other situations.
-
To calm nerves, Giang does jumping jacks or other brisk exercise before speaking, and pairs eye contact with one person with singular language like "you."
"The best way to do that is Toastmasters if you're afraid to speak... this will just give you a process and a curriculum to start learning how to overcome that fear. And I went all in on Toastmasters for a year every single week and I would record myself."
▶ Play at 9:165 creators recommend it, including Joe Schmitz Jr., Masters of Scale, and Matt Abrahams.
See all on the Toastmasters page"Well, I'm excited about your book Before We Forget How to Connect. I want people to get it. If you want to be heard, be seen, and communicate with confidence, you got to make sure you get this book."
▶ Play at 1:13:322 creators recommend it, including Vanessa Van Edwards.
See all on the Before We Forget How to Connect page"It's why backstage before I teach I'm also doing star jumps. You call them jumping jacks here. Some push-ups, brisk form of walking. That gets rid of the adrenaline."
▶ Play at 1:09:47"So you've got to manage the adrenaline, which is brisk forms of exercise before you go on stage. It's why backstage before I teach I'm also doing star jumps. You call them jumping jacks here. That gets rid of the adrenaline, which also gets you to breathe more deeply."
▶ Play at 1:09:38"You can pair singular eye contact with singular language... look at one person and use singular language. When you're looking at that one person and talking, when you use the word 'you,' you'll see them visually acknowledge you and nod, smile and give back, and that makes you ..."
▶ Play at 1:07:48What they recommend · 5 picks
"The best way to do that is Toastmasters if you're afraid to speak... this will just give you a process and a curriculum to start learning how to overcome that fear. And I went a..."
"You can pair singular eye contact with singular language... look at one person and use singular language. When you're looking at that one person and talking, when you use the wo..."
"So you've got to manage the adrenaline, which is brisk forms of exercise before you go on stage. It's why backstage before I teach I'm also doing star jumps. You call them jumpi..."
Vinh Giang
3 picks · guest
"You can pair singular eye contact with singular language... look at one person and use singular language. When you're looking at that one person and talking, when you use the wo..."
"So you've got to manage the adrenaline, which is brisk forms of exercise before you go on stage. It's why backstage before I teach I'm also doing star jumps. You call them jumpi..."
"It's why backstage before I teach I'm also doing star jumps. You call them jumping jacks here. Some push-ups, brisk form of walking. That gets rid of the adrenaline."
Lewis Howes
2 picks · host
"The best way to do that is Toastmasters if you're afraid to speak... this will just give you a process and a curriculum to start learning how to overcome that fear. And I went a..."
"Well, I'm excited about your book Before We Forget How to Connect. I want people to get it. If you want to be heard, be seen, and communicate with confidence, you got to make su..."
Made by someone on this episode
Also mentioned
Ads in this episode
Hatch Sleep Clock, Airbnb. They're paid, so we keep them out of the picks above.
See what Lewis recommends without being paid →Related episodes
Episodes covering similar topics