Vanessa Van Edwards: The Weird Trick That Makes People Like You
Steven Bartlett talks with Vanessa Van Edwards about the science of conversation, covering how to open better, take turns well, and read whether someone wants to talk or listen.
The gist
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Replace openers like 'How are you?' with questions such as 'What was the highlight of your day?' to pull people out of autopilot.
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Van Edwards says conversation turns over 45 seconds start to feel like a monologue, and 95% of workers say overtalking hurts productivity.
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Figure out if someone is an entertainer who wants to talk or an appreciator who prefers to listen, then adjust how many questions you ask.
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Van Edwards teaches a behavioral interviewing approach to help people ask better questions and have more memorable conversations.
What they recommend · 3 picks
"I believe in behavioral interviewing. I believe in interview questions that actually let you know about someone's behavior, not just their opinions. For example, instead of 'Wha..."
"It's called a graceful exit. There's a behavior concept called the peak-end effect — we remember the first few minutes of a conversation and the last few minutes. I have a formu..."
"Maximum resonance point is a part of your voice that is the lowest end of your natural range that signifies pride, that signifies calm. Winners use this maximum resonance point...."
Steven, Vanessa Van Edwards, Joe and Tim agree on 15 things
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