Self-Esteem is Bullsh*t
Mark Manson argues that the self-esteem movement got confidence backwards for 60+ years, and that real confidence comes from doing hard things and tolerating failure, not from feeling good first.
The gist
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Manson says the 'Peel Fallacy' has it backwards: performance builds confidence, not the other way around.
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Praising kids for being smart rather than for effort can make them avoid challenges to protect their unearned status.
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Manson says meta-self-efficacy, the ability to handle failure and uncertainty, is the skill that transfers across every area of life.
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Behaviors like over-researching and seeking reassurance reinforce anxiety rather than build competence, so practicing decisions with incomplete information helps.
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