4 Step Approach To Stop Obsessing Over Someone

The gist

1. Obsession activates fears like abandonment or unworthiness that existed before you met the person, who then feels like the solution to those fears.
2. Hussey describes an inner "bodyguard" that drives chasing and overinvestment, which you counter by speaking to yourself like a calm, reassuring parent.
3. Loosen the feeling of high stakes by remembering you have felt this way about others before, and use humor to take the obsession less seriously.
4. Moving slowly lets you actually assess compatibility, since rushing to secure someone makes honest evaluation impossible.