Tom Segura

"I've heard that's a problem with Pure Encapsulations. So I started buying their stuff from their website because I read that because I read that like a high percentage was fraud."

"we started with episode one of The Simpsons. The writing and the jokes in them are so good and so funny"

"We watched Home Alone fucking 145 times"

"I come home and I'm like, I really should write, but I could watch YouTube. And then I'll fucking sit in front of the TV and watch YouTube"

"I have taken it. Yeah. I don't have any. I'm like a crack addict. If you tell me something will be good, I'll be like, 'Cool. I'll inject like 40 things into myself.'"

"I was watching that documentary about the murder in Monaco. Did you watch that one? I think it's called Murder in Monaco."

"She ruled in Homeland, too. She was great in that, too."

"It's called Teacher. It's on Netflix. Tomorrow comes out Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve on Netflix. It's called Teacher. I tore for two years to get ready for this one. I'm very happy with it."

"I've been in the writer's room on my on season two of Bad Thoughts"